Almost three years ago my wife, Jenny, and I were encouraged by friends to join them in volunteering a week of our summer at a camp for foster children, kids living within the state foster system. Those weeks spent with children who had experience severe abuse or neglect at the hands of their own parents or caregivers were transformational for us. Through our training and preparation as counselors we learned quite a bit about child abuse and the foster system, identifying some of the false stereotypes about fostering that we had formed in our own minds.
Our eyes were opened to the tragic and often cyclical nature of families caught in the grip of sub-par education, poverty, and psychological immaturity. The basic fact is that tens of thousands of children across our country are abused or neglected by parents or relatives. But thankfully our government pours millions of dollars into agencies which rescue children out of harmful situation and then conduct investigations into whether they can safely return to their parents' care. These government systems are far from perfect, but the issues regarding family rights, parental reform, and child development are also very complicated. This process of investigations and legal proceedings involves numerous agencies and individuals and can be quite confusing, taking months and even years to decide who will ultimately become the child’s caregiver. But many thousands of other children remain in abusive homes because no one has reported their situation to child protection authorities.
Those who are taken from their homes not only suffer from their previous abuse, but are now forced to deal with new challenges as they are ripped form the only lives they have ever known and sent to live with complete strangers. Sometimes those foster parents are not even very nice. But even when these new people are nice, the children are still very confused and must deal with many extra challenges such as new schools, making new friends, and living with new foster siblings. It is such foster children, taken from their homes, confused and angry, who come to these camps to experience a few days of fun and escape their anxieties.
With knowledge about these issues, along with training on how to deal with the psychological repercussions and behavioral patterns of abused children, we gave every moment of ourselves to those children during that one week out of the year. At the end of each week we were always emotionally and physically drained, but we also felt deeply fulfilled and satisfied that we were able to offer a short period of fun and loving experiences to these 6-12 year old children. For many of the kids that week of camp is the highlight of their year, where they are able to let loose and enjoy their childhood with a sense of safety and freedom. (if you're interested, the nationwide organization is called Royal Family Kids Camp and more info can be found at rfkc.org)
After the second year of camp my wife and I began seriously exploring the possibility of becoming foster parents ourselves, and offer a temporary or permanent home to children in need of a healthy and safe place to grow up. We had also heard from friends about a couple in our church who were podcasting about their foster-adoption experiences. So we began listening to their episodes and the more we listened the more Jenny and I became convinced that fostering was an important role for us to fill as people who care about children and want to participate in creating a healthier society. The "Foster Parenting Podcast" was entertaining and eye-opening, offering us a clear path for what to expect once we entered into foster parenting. (this highly-recommended podcast can be found on iTunes or fosterpodcast.com)
Based on this podcast and recommendations from other friends, we looked into a foster-adoption agency in our area that could help us to train, prepare, and help us to navigate the complicated government social service systems that are activated when a child taken from his/her home. We had an initial meeting with the agency last fall and began attending training classes for CPR, cross-cultural parenting, child psychology/development, and preparation for potential adoption of a child if the legal system determines that no family member is available or able to care for the child. We then began preparing our house to be safe and friendly for children and informed our agency that due to our age and life-stage that we would prefer to receive a child of 2-years or younger, any race, and either gender. Our agency, Olive Crest, is wonderful and we recommend them to anyone living in the areas which they service (more info on them can be found at olivecrest.org).
We finished our last training about two weeks ago and began preparing for our final home inspection/walk-through, the last step toward fostering certification according to the standards of the county Department of Child & Family Services. The walk-through was scheduled to happen today, February 24, 2011. But last week we received a call from our agency that a newborn baby boy had been detained at the hospital due to prenatal drug abuse by his mother and he needed a home immediately. So my wife and I began frantically finishing requirements necessary for our home to be certified by our agency. Seven hours later we picked up a 3-day-old baby boy. After only one week with us we already love him dearly and are privileged to be able to care for him and provide a safe environment for as long as necessary.
We are expecting to get our hearts broken after caring for children like these should they someday have to leave our care, but someone's got to do it and for some reason we have been given the knowledge and motivation to take up the cause of these temporary orphans. Perhaps one day we will be gifted with the chance to adopt some of them and offer a forever family to children who might have otherwise had to grow up in dangerous situations or even risk never growing up at all. We will chronicle our journey here as a therapeutic device for ourselves as well as a possible guide to those considering a similar journey. I hope you gain new knowledge from our experiences and maybe one day join us in meeting the needs of hurting kids.
